"Hey, Lin! Look, another shortcut!" called out Aigerim, baring her teeth at me in a cheeky grin. Standing no more than twenty metres from her and breathing heavily in the quiet, almost serial killer like forest, I glared at her. The words, when they left my mouth, were completely justified.
"F*%k you and your shortcuts!" Ten minutes earlier we had just scaled an impossibly vertical hill whereby we both resembled horrible mutations of goats crossed with spiders. Meaning we had been pressed to the hill on all fours, shuffling, leaping, sliding and crawling our way up. True, I was the reason we had ended up there in the first place but it was Aigerim who had chosen the non existent path through the forest, because it would be the 'fastest' way.
"F*%k you and your shortcuts!" Ten minutes earlier we had just scaled an impossibly vertical hill whereby we both resembled horrible mutations of goats crossed with spiders. Meaning we had been pressed to the hill on all fours, shuffling, leaping, sliding and crawling our way up. True, I was the reason we had ended up there in the first place but it was Aigerim who had chosen the non existent path through the forest, because it would be the 'fastest' way.
I didn't have any plans to celebrate 2014. What I was more concerned about was ridding myself of the calories I had gained over the Christmas feasting combined with less urgency of detoxifying my liver and kidneys of the alcohol I had consumed. With that in mind, I gallivanted around beautiful, charming Prague with Aigerim, exploring the little side streets and the less scenic parts of the city, all in the name of exercise. But even with the alluring ice skating rinks that had sprouted from the ground like winter flowers, my thirst for adventure was still not satiated and the little village town of Slapy came to mind.
Then December 31st swung around and I decided with my good friend, this would be the day. The day where I would leave Prague and stroll around a quaint, pretty little village on a cold, but snow-less winter day. Aigerim and I caught the 9.35 AM bus and cruised along the Vltava river, past the cliffs moulded over time into astounding geographical layers that makes you realise that not only is Mother Nature fertile, amazing, cruel and beautiful, she is also an artist.
Then things went wrong. Because we were yapping so much on the bus, Aigerim and I didn't notice where we disembarked until the bus had left and it dawned on us that we had got off at the wrong stop! To be more accurate, it hit Aigerim like a concrete block whereas on me, it kind of sprinkled like cold rain before freezing rapids struck. We were stuck in a village that consisted of no more than thirty houses on the side of the road and the next bus to arrive would be in another hour. I took it in my stride. Aigerim however, threw me murderous looks. It was I who had insisted that we get off the bus. We had to be at least fifteen kilometres away from Slapy.
Oh well. I tried to make the best of it, pointing out the mountains, the river and the solemn church with its bell tower staring at us from across the water. "We can take a scenic walk to the next village!" I say in a positive tone. Luckily Aigerim agreed and we whipped out our smartphones to do some serious GPS-ing. "We'll follow the main road and then take a left along the river." Aigerim points at a large green patch on her phone and continues, "Then we'll go through the forest." I was totally fine with that. After all, I was looking for adventure, wasn't I?
Fast forward to the point when we reached the forest. "Aigerim, I don't see any trails leading up!" I shout, huffing and puffing. We had already walked a fair distance past fields before finally taking a barely discernible trail through the forest that had faded out of existence five minutes ago. "There is!" she shouts back to me and points to a few trees that look like they are about to slide off the hill. I even tapped my eyeballs to make sure I was seeing the same thing as her but nope, I didn't see any trail. "Are you kidding me? Even mountain goats wouldn't climb up that! It's a water trail!"
"If we take this way, we'll reach Slapy faster! It's a shortcut!" Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Fifteen minutes later, I'm on all fours, sliding three feet down the hill. Aigerim is at least fifteen metres ahead of me and about five metres to my right - for good reason. I watch as a rock half the size of my head tumbles down and onwards, probably to knock some poor lonely goat unconscious twenty metres down. I was made painfully aware that neither of us were wearing helmets and suddenly, news of Michael Schumackers' disastrous skiing accident came to mind. Hey, if it happened to him, it could happen to two idiotic girls crawling up a hill without helmets. My gloves are filthy, my thigh and butt muscles are screaming and yet somewhere beneath all that flesh and bone, my stupid brain is telling me, "Don't get your coat dirty!" Seriously. I understood my problem but I didn't care - I wanted to climb that bitch of a hill in the most lady-like way possible without getting killed. Another ten minutes later, I finally succeeded. Aigerim, having reached the summit before me, managed to snap a shot of me climbing the last and ironically, gentlest part of the hill.
The view was worth it. Below us stretched miles of river, mountains and some houses. It was truly beautiful. And at the top, we finally came across a path! After a five minute breather and consulting our maps, we decided to walk to the energy station further up. Curiously enough, we hadn't come across any hiking trails and so I bitched to Aigerim that they probably weren't marked for good reason. "Because we did NOT climb a path. We climbed a mountain where no human should have been!" I was prone to exaggeration at that point. But really, no idiot but us would have climbed up the way we had come. Another five minutes of walking brought us to the energy station and woe behold, it was off limits. The shortest way to Slapy lay through it.
"Ok, Aigerim. Let's just take that little road," I said, pointing to a path that could barely fit a mini car on it. We took it without question and after taking another of Aigerim's shortcuts, we came to a large pool that was part of the power plant. All I can say is that it looked really cold and ... it was another dead end. We had to return the way we had come. So of course, when Aigerim spotted another shortcut further along the way, me telling her what to do with her shortcuts was amply justified.
Eventually, after walking approximately fifteen kilometres through forest and along the highway, past fields and the Vltava, we eventually arrived at Slapy. What we saw there made us truly grateful that we had disembarked at the wrong stop where we were given the chance to experience a wonderful and uplifting time together, laughing and walking through the mountainous forests, scrabbling over ditches and jumping over road guards to avoid oncoming cars. We saw three villages in the process, were treated to magnificent views and had a bonding time. Slapy was a dump! 31st December was by far, one of the best New Year's Eve I ever had. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.
Then December 31st swung around and I decided with my good friend, this would be the day. The day where I would leave Prague and stroll around a quaint, pretty little village on a cold, but snow-less winter day. Aigerim and I caught the 9.35 AM bus and cruised along the Vltava river, past the cliffs moulded over time into astounding geographical layers that makes you realise that not only is Mother Nature fertile, amazing, cruel and beautiful, she is also an artist.
Then things went wrong. Because we were yapping so much on the bus, Aigerim and I didn't notice where we disembarked until the bus had left and it dawned on us that we had got off at the wrong stop! To be more accurate, it hit Aigerim like a concrete block whereas on me, it kind of sprinkled like cold rain before freezing rapids struck. We were stuck in a village that consisted of no more than thirty houses on the side of the road and the next bus to arrive would be in another hour. I took it in my stride. Aigerim however, threw me murderous looks. It was I who had insisted that we get off the bus. We had to be at least fifteen kilometres away from Slapy.
Oh well. I tried to make the best of it, pointing out the mountains, the river and the solemn church with its bell tower staring at us from across the water. "We can take a scenic walk to the next village!" I say in a positive tone. Luckily Aigerim agreed and we whipped out our smartphones to do some serious GPS-ing. "We'll follow the main road and then take a left along the river." Aigerim points at a large green patch on her phone and continues, "Then we'll go through the forest." I was totally fine with that. After all, I was looking for adventure, wasn't I?
Fast forward to the point when we reached the forest. "Aigerim, I don't see any trails leading up!" I shout, huffing and puffing. We had already walked a fair distance past fields before finally taking a barely discernible trail through the forest that had faded out of existence five minutes ago. "There is!" she shouts back to me and points to a few trees that look like they are about to slide off the hill. I even tapped my eyeballs to make sure I was seeing the same thing as her but nope, I didn't see any trail. "Are you kidding me? Even mountain goats wouldn't climb up that! It's a water trail!"
"If we take this way, we'll reach Slapy faster! It's a shortcut!" Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Fifteen minutes later, I'm on all fours, sliding three feet down the hill. Aigerim is at least fifteen metres ahead of me and about five metres to my right - for good reason. I watch as a rock half the size of my head tumbles down and onwards, probably to knock some poor lonely goat unconscious twenty metres down. I was made painfully aware that neither of us were wearing helmets and suddenly, news of Michael Schumackers' disastrous skiing accident came to mind. Hey, if it happened to him, it could happen to two idiotic girls crawling up a hill without helmets. My gloves are filthy, my thigh and butt muscles are screaming and yet somewhere beneath all that flesh and bone, my stupid brain is telling me, "Don't get your coat dirty!" Seriously. I understood my problem but I didn't care - I wanted to climb that bitch of a hill in the most lady-like way possible without getting killed. Another ten minutes later, I finally succeeded. Aigerim, having reached the summit before me, managed to snap a shot of me climbing the last and ironically, gentlest part of the hill.
The view was worth it. Below us stretched miles of river, mountains and some houses. It was truly beautiful. And at the top, we finally came across a path! After a five minute breather and consulting our maps, we decided to walk to the energy station further up. Curiously enough, we hadn't come across any hiking trails and so I bitched to Aigerim that they probably weren't marked for good reason. "Because we did NOT climb a path. We climbed a mountain where no human should have been!" I was prone to exaggeration at that point. But really, no idiot but us would have climbed up the way we had come. Another five minutes of walking brought us to the energy station and woe behold, it was off limits. The shortest way to Slapy lay through it.
"Ok, Aigerim. Let's just take that little road," I said, pointing to a path that could barely fit a mini car on it. We took it without question and after taking another of Aigerim's shortcuts, we came to a large pool that was part of the power plant. All I can say is that it looked really cold and ... it was another dead end. We had to return the way we had come. So of course, when Aigerim spotted another shortcut further along the way, me telling her what to do with her shortcuts was amply justified.
Eventually, after walking approximately fifteen kilometres through forest and along the highway, past fields and the Vltava, we eventually arrived at Slapy. What we saw there made us truly grateful that we had disembarked at the wrong stop where we were given the chance to experience a wonderful and uplifting time together, laughing and walking through the mountainous forests, scrabbling over ditches and jumping over road guards to avoid oncoming cars. We saw three villages in the process, were treated to magnificent views and had a bonding time. Slapy was a dump! 31st December was by far, one of the best New Year's Eve I ever had. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.